Funny captions are the most popular instagram caption right now. According to Wikipedia fun is the enjoyment of pleasure. Moreover these captions on fun are shared most on the internet these days. So here we are presenting you the best funny instagram captions till date. So keep reading.
Funny Caption for Instagram
- “A black cat crossing ur path signifies that the animal is goin somewhere.”
- “May the forces of evil become confused on the way to ur house.”
- “Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.”
- I know you are a sensitive person but no worry I’m sensodyne to your sensitivity.
- “By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.”
- “The only way to keep your health is to eat what u don’t want, drink what u don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.”
- “If u try to fail, and succeed, which have u done?”
- “If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.”
- “High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.”
- Can I take ur picture? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
- “Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”
- “If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.”
- “If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.”
- “Men are like shoes. Some fit better than others. And sometimes u go out shopping and there’s nothing you like. And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find 2 that are perfect, but u don’t have the money to buy both.”
- Friends knock on the door, best friends walk into ur house and start eating.
- “My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.”
- If I ever let my head down, it will be just to admire my shoes.
Everyone likes a little bit of fun. So share these funny instagram caption among your friends and family members and share the fun.
Best Funny Instagram Caption
- Finding friends with same mental disorder is priceless.
- “If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.”
- “My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m damn right.”
- Eat, sleep, click, repeat.
- “My grandfather once told me that there were 2 kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition.”
- “A day without laughter is a day wasted.”
- “I’ve come to view Jesus much the way I view Elvis. I love the guy but the fan clubs really freak me out.”
- “You’re only as good as ur last haircut.”
- “It’s a recession when ur neighbour loses his job; it’s a depression when u lose ur’s.”
- “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.”
- Every tall girl needs a short best frnd.
- “The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless.”
- Warning – u might fall in love with me.
- “There is a theory which states that if ever any1 discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”
- I Live And I Learn But I Wait My Turn. I’m Always On The Run, Got Weight To Burn.
So till now, how are you liking our funny caption collections? Awesome right! More captions coming your way.
Funny Captions for Selfies
- “Don’t worry about the world comin to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
- “As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”
- “As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable 2 dispense it.”
- “Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
- Roses are red, violets are blue, Oh my friend u belong to a zoo.
- With great girlfrnd comes great expenses.
- “He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.”
- “I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.”
- “A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.”
- “Human beings, who r almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, r also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.”
- “Great art is the contempt of a great man for small art.”
- “They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.”
- BRB = I don’t want to talk to you. LOL = I have nothing else to say. Cool = I don’t care.
- “According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best frnd. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man’s best friend is his dog.”
Upload these as your selfie captions for instagram and see the magic yourself. Everyone would get impressed.
New Funny Instagram Caption
- “We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.”
- I hope u dance like no one’s watching because they’re not—they’re taking selfies.
- “A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’”
- Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married..
- “Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps ur’s is watching television.”
- “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”
- “It’s a scientific fact that ur body will not absorb cholesterol if u take it from another person’s plate.”
- “The first time I sang in the church choir; 200 people changed their religion.”
- “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
- “Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else.”
- Just saw the most smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.
- “The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.”
- If life gives u lemons, just add vodka.
- “Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.”
- One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
You can also upload these funny caption for instagram on your instagram selfies and more.
Trendy Funny Selfie Captions | Instagram Captions on Selfie
- “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
- “I’m in shape. Round is a shape.”
- “As u get older 3 things happen. The first is ur memory goes, and I can’t remember the other 2.”
- Friday is my second favourite F word.
- People are like Oreo’s. The good stuff is on the inside.
- “I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.”
- “I drank some boiling water coz I wanted to whistle.”
- “Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”
- “Here’s something to think about: How come u never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?”
- Not all the best moments are created with the one you love, some are created with true frnds, a blissful beach, and some beer for sure!
- “The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”
- “Never put off till tomorrow what u can do the day after tomorrow.”
- “The safe way to double ur money is to fold it over once and put it in ur pocket.”
- “Laugh a lot. It burns a lot of calories.”
- “A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future.”
- The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.
Nowadays, selfie is the most popular trend among all youngsters. So here we are with our latest funny caption on selfie which will also work as your instagram captions.
Funny Captions for Friends | Instagram Captions on Friends
- I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
- “When we talk to God, we’re praying. When God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic.”
- U laugh. I laugh. U cry. I cry. U jump off a really tall cliff. I yell, “Do a flip!”
- “Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to u.”
- “Patriotism is ur conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.”
- “Women are wiser than men because they know less and understnd more.”
- Honesty is the key to a relationship. If u can fake that, you’re in.
- “Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?”
- “Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.”
- Dear Lord… please give me some patience NOW…NOW…NOW….
- “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”
- “To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.”☺
- We’ll be the old ladies causing trouble in the nursing home.
- “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”
- “Son, if u really want something in this life, u have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.”
- “The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.”
- “Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what u eat.”
Friendship is the one of the purest relationship on earth. Go tighten your friendship bond with these funny captions for friends.
Best Friend Funny Captions (2019)
- U know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand u the camera.
- “If u love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.”
- “Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.”
- “If I were 2-faced, would I be wearing this one?”
- “Analysing humour is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested & the frog dies of it.”
- “God is at home, it’s we who have gone out for a walk.”
- Cousins are created so that our Parents can compare marks.
- “Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
- I’m a smart person, I just do stupid things.
- “Going to church doesn’t make u a Christian any more than going to a garage makes u an automobile.”
- Look dope chic, spice and so nice.
- “All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.”
- “How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.”
- “It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.”
Through funny instagram captions you can show your friends that how much you love them. Don’t miss this oppurtunity. Go use our captions to impress your best friend.
Funny Instagram Caption for Friends
- Dear MATH, stop asking to find ur X, she’s not coming back.
- “To those of u who received honour’s, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C studnts, I say you, too, can be president of the United States
- “My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.”
- As soon as I saw u, I knew an adventure is going to happen.
- “The road 2 success is always under construction.”
- “If you must make a noise, make it quietly.”
- “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, u happen to be a bottle of wine.”
- “Political correctness is tyranny with manners.”
- “Always remember that u’re absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”
- “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”
- “It’s always darkest before the dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbour’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.”
- Frnds come and go, like the waves of the ocean… But the true ones stay, like an octopus on ur face.
- “Do not make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans or they will treat you like dogs.”
- “Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.”
- I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soulmate … but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.
A friend is that person who will be with you always. Be it your toughest hardships of your life, be it your success or be it your failure. Friend will always stand by you. Thus, make your friends laugh by sharing these funny captions and share the joy with them.
Funny Captions for Couples | Instagram Captions on Couples
- “I prefer some1 who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over some1 who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag.”
- I’m not weird, I’m a limited edition.
- Aye I’m just feeling my vibes right now, I’m feeling myself.
- Dear Lord, there is a bug in ur software… it’s called Monday, please fix it.
- “I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam.”
- Let’s just stay friends=never talk again.
- Who cares, I’m awesome.
- “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”
- “The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward.”
- “The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.”
- “I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.”
- “Until u value yourself, u won’t value ur time. Until u value ur time, u will not do anything with it.”
- “Americans are incredibly inpatient. Someone once said that the shortest period of time in America is the time between when the light turns green and when you hear the first horn honk.”
- Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate.
- Oh, darling! Go buy a personality.
Tickle the ribs of each other by sharing these funny captions as instagram captions with your loved one’s.
Breakup Funny Captions for Instagram (2019)
- An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
- “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If u don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
- I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship.
- The best way to look younger, hang out with older people.
- “A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.”
- “My wife Mary and I have been married for 47 years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.”
- “I’m not for everyone. I’m barely for me.”
- “Have u ever noticed that anybody driving slower than u is an idiot, and any1 going faster than u is a maniac?”
- “Marriage is the only war in which u sleep with the enemy.”
- I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won.
- “A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
- “It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
- “Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.”
- “Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”
Going through a breakup. Don’t worry. We are here with our funny captions which will surely lighten your mood as well your ex’s. So share these as instagram captions.
Funny Engagement Captions | Instagram Captions on Engagement
- “I’d rather have 1% of the effort of 100 men than 100% of my own effort.”
- “Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.”
- “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
- “All the things I really like 2 do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.”
- “Life moves pretty fast. If u don’t stop and look around once in a while, u could miss it.”
- “I drink to make other people more interesting.”
- “A woman is like a tea bag – u can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”
- “I am only human, although I regret it.”
- “If u want ur children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.”
- God is really creative, I mean just look at me.
- “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
- Can Bob the Builder fix my bad attitude
- Look behind u see any eager faces, waiting for ur next post? I thought not.
Captions for every situation. Why not engagement? Share these engagement funny captions with your partner. You can also share them as funny instagram captions.
Funny Instagram Caption for Boyfriend
- “Ask me no questions, & I’ll tell you no lies.”
- I’m actually not funny, I am just mean and people think I’m funny!
- Best friends: Ready 2 die for each other, but will fight to the death over the last slice of pizza.
- Eat right, stay fit, die anyway.
- “The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.”
- “All men are equal before fish.”
- “If u find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for u.”
- “Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.”
- “Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, ‘Jesus! This cup is expensive!’”
- “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
- “Life is hard. After all, it kills u.”
- Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.
- “Never have more children than u have car windows.”
Funny captions are the best way to impress your boyfriend. Each and every person can be impressed if one can make them smile. Hence, bring a smile to your near and dear one’s face’s by using these instagram caption.
Funny Captions for Girlfriend | Girfriend Caption for Instagram
- Frnds buy u lunch. Best frnds eat ur lunch.
- I’m a math teacher. 1 plus 2 equals me and u.
- “Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard.”
- “Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!”
- I hope we are good frnds until we die, then i hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.
- “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”
- “We never really grow up, we only learn how 2 act in public.”
- “Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.”
- “Have u noticed that all the people in favour of birth control are already born?”
- “If you’re too open-minded; ur brains will fall out.”
- I hate when I’m about to hug some1 really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
- “Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.”
- What if I told u, u can eat without posting it on Instagram.
- People are people but my fellows are really fellows.
Wanna impress your girlfriend? Share these funny instagram caption and we bet you that your girfriend would get impressed.
Interesting Funny Captions
- “In the past 10,000 years, humans have devised roughly 100,000 religions based on roughly 2,500 gods. So the only difference between myself and the believers is that I’m skeptical of 2,500 gods whereas they are skeptical of 2,499 gods. We’re only one God away from total agreement.
- “I can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.”
- Do u know what’d look good on u? Me .
- Newton’s law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfrnd to another with some loss of money.
- I know I’m lucky that I’m so cute.
- “Biologically speaking, if something bites u it’s more likely to be female.”
- I am not lazy, I am just on my energy saving mode.
- I don’t want to be in a relationship, I would rather be in a Range Rover.
- Remember when u were better than me ?.. Ans: ya neither do I.
- On a scale of 1 to 10, I’m a 15.
- “To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever u hit the target.”
- I am not fat, I am just… easier to see.
So how you liked this sections of our funny instagram captions? Please comment below.
Sarcastic Funny Instagram Caption
- “The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large.”
- U actually have frnds? Ans: Yeah, bro, all 10 seasons on DVD.
- “The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth.”
- “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
- “Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.”
- Please GOD if you can’t make me slim, make my friends fat.
- “U know you’re getting old when u stoop to tie ur shoelaces and wonder what else u could do while you’re down there.”
- “It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”
- “Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.”
- “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”
- “I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.”
- “The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.”
- I’m different, fuck your opinion.
- I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.
- “Haters are just confused admirers coz they can’t figure out the reason why every1 loves u.”
- “I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.”
- “God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.”????????
Giving a sarcasm to someone is really fun. Share these awesome collection of sarcastic funny captions on instagram.
Clever Funny Captions (2019)
- “My grandmother started walking 5 miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.”
- “I asked God 4 a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked 4 forgiveness.”
- “The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.”
- “The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.”
- I’m usually charming, nice, and well mannered, OK for those who really know me u can laugh now.
- “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.”
- “A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.”
- “If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle.”
- “Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of people’s vacations was considered a punishment.”
- “One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.”
- “That’s the funny thing about life. We’re rarely aware of the bullets we dodge. The just-misses. The almost-never-happens. We spend so much time worrying about how the future is going to play out and not nearly enough time admiring the precious perfection of the present.”
- If being Hot is a Crime ARREST ME!
- “When u go into court u are putting ur fate into the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.”
- A friend in need is a friend to be avoided.
- “The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from it’s government.”
- “At every party there are 2 kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.”
Liked our clever funny captions. Then why wait? Go share them as your instagram captions.
Short Funny Instagram Caption
- Silence is the best answer of all questions and Smile is the best reaction in all situations. Unfortunately, both never help in VIVA & INTERVIEW.
- U marry so that U can know each other and the process lasts for infinity.
- “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”
- “Here’s to our wives and girlfrnds…may they never meet!”
- When u fall I will be ready to catch u- with love, floor.
- “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”
- “Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with 4 or 5 cupcakes.”
- “If u think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”
- How do people write an autobiography? I can barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday.
- “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
- I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
- “The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so they believe they are clever as he.”
- “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
- “My favourite machine at the gym is the vending machine.”
- I`m jealous of my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs.
Some people don’t like too long instagram caption. The above section of funny captions is specially for them. See, we take care of everyone.
Most Famous Funny Captions | Famous Instagram Caption
- Born free, taxed 2 death.
- “I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.”
- “Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.”
- “Forgive ur enemies, but never forget their names.”
- I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!
- Brains r awesome. I wish everybody had one.
- “People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”
- I’m not feeling lazy actually, I’m just incredibly motivated to do nothing.
- “A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: ‘Duh.”
- “Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.”
- My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
- Nothing is illegal until u get caught.
- “Worrying is like paying a debt u don’t owe.”
- “Remember, today is the tomorrow u worried about yesterday.”
Famous personalities also did someday told these fun quotes. So here we have collected them for you to share them as funny instagram caption.
Cool Funny Instagram Caption (2019)
- “Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.”
- It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing.
- “When we remember we r all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.”
- “I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.”
- “It’s only when u look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that u realize how often they burst into flames.”
- “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
- “My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists.”
- “You tried ur best and u failed miserably. The lesson is ‘never try.’”
- “Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know.”
- Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pics of natural disasters.
- Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
- “Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill u too.”
- “But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at r geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.”
- You made me laugh so hard. Tears ran down my legs.
- People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
Funny captions can be cool also as we have mentioned above. So please make sure to share these cool instagram caption with your cool friends only.
Hilarious Funny Captions
- “When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I’m beginning to believe it.”
- “Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.”
- Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
- “War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.”
- “If u think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”
- “Leave something for some1 but don’t leave some1 for something.”
- “An alcoholic is someone u don’t like who drinks as much as u do.”
- “A man doesn’t know what he knows until he knows what he doesn’t know.”
- There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
- If u are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I’ll tell you more.
- “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- “If u can’t live without me, why aren’t u dead already?”
- “If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it’s another nonconformist who doesn’t conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.”
- So we meet again.
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