Am I Aromantic?


“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.”
John Joseph Powell, The Secret of Staying in Love

“I was suffering the easily foreseeable consequences. Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never dared to admit you wanted-an emotional speedball, perhaps, of thunderous love and roiling excitement. Soon you start craving that intense attention, with a hungry obsession of any junkie. When the drug is witheld, you promptly turn sick, crazy, and depleted (not to mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place but now refuses to pony up the good stuff anymore– despite the fact that you know he has it hidden somewhere, goddamn it, because he used to give it to you for free). Next stage finds you skinny and shaking in a corner, certain only that you would sell your soul or rob your neighbors just to have ‘that thing’ even one more time. Meanwhile, the object of your adoration has now become repulsed by you. He looks at you like you’re someone he’s never met before, much less someone he once loved with high passion. The irony is,you can hardly blame him. I mean, check yourself out. You’re a pathetic mess,unrecognizable even to your own eyes. So that’s it. You have now reached infatuation’s final destination– the complete and merciless devaluation of self.” – pg 20-21”
Elizabeth Gilbert Sputnik Sweetheart

“Of course it hurt that we could never love each other in a physical way. We would have been far more happy if we had. But that was like the tides, the change of seasons–something immutable, an immovable destiny we could never alter. No matter how cleverly we might shelter it, our delicate friendship wasn’t going to last forever. We were bound to reach a dead end. That was painfully clear.”
Haruki Murakami, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

“I think you are wrong to want a heart. It makes most people unhappy. If you only knew it, you are in luck not to have a heart.”
L. Frank Baum, The Wise Man’s Fear

“nothing in this world was more difficult than love.”
Gabriel García Márquez The Goddess Test

“Books are a poor substitute for female companionship, but they are easier to find.”
Patrick Rothfuss, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence

“I care,” he said in a trembling voice. “I care so much that I do not know how to tell you without it seeming inconsequential compared to how I feel. Even if I am distant at times and seem as if I do not want to be with you, it is only because this scares me, too.”
Aimee Carter, The Indigo Spell

“Don’t leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.”
Amy Sedaris, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment

“Because I can’t help doing it,” he said with a shrug. “And hey, if I keep loving you, maybe you’ll eventually crack and love me too. Hell, I’m pretty sure you’re already half in love with me.”
Richelle Mead, Rules of Attraction

“All I’m telling you to do is to be smart about it. Know that if this man isn’t looking for a serious relationship, you’re not going to change his mind just because you two are going on dates and being intimate. You could be the most perfect woman on the Lord’s green earth-you’re capable of interesting conversation, you cook a mean breakfast, you hand out backrubs like sandwiches, you’re independent (which means, to him, that you’re not going to be in his pockets)-but if he’s not ready for a serious relationship, he going to treat you like sports fish.”
Steve Harvey, Emma

“Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.”
Shannon L. Alder I Wrote This For You

“We kiss all the time.” I clear my throat, then add, “We just…do it in private.”
Simone Elkeles, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

“Seldom, very seldom, does complete truth belong to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that something is not a little disguised or a little mistaken.”
Jane Austen, Max

“You’re just another story I can’t tell anymore.”
pleasefindthis, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.”
Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

“He could totally be your boyfriend,” [Angel] went on with annoying persistance. “You guys could get married. I could be like a junior bridesmaid. Total could be your flower dog.”
James Patterson, Breaking Bread: Insurgent Black Intellectual Life

“Moving on is easy. It’s staying moved on that’s trickier.”
Katerina Stoykova Klemer The English Patient

“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”
Mandy Hale, Letters to a Young Poet

“A fit, healthy body—that is the best fashion statement”
Jess C Scott Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

“How would your life be different if…You walked away from gossip and verbal defamation? Let today be the day…You speak only the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same.”
Steve Maraboli, Wicked Lovely

“There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it.”
Shannon L. Alder All About Love: New Visions

“We have to recognise that there cannot be relationships unless there is commitment, unless there is loyalty, unless there is love, patience, persistence.”
Cornel West, Warbreaker

“We die containing a richness of lovers and tribes, tastes we have swallowed, bodies we have plunged into and swum up as if rivers of wisdom, characters we have climbed into as if trees, fears we have hidden in as if caves.
Michael Ondaatje, How to Win Friends and Influence People

“only someone who is ready for everything, who doesn’t exclude any experience, even the most incomprehensible, will live the relationship with another person as something alive and will himself sound the depths of his own being.”
Rainer Maria Rilke, Seven Words of Jesus and Mary: Lessons from Cana and Calvary

“Start the Quiz”

  • Question of


    • Yes, but we were really close before/No, but I might fall in love with a close friend
    • Nope, not even a sex-only one
    • Yes/No, but I would love to
    • Maybe. I don’t really dislike relationships
    • No, and I don’t really feel like it/Something like friends with benefits, yes
  • Question of

    When you see a couple kissing, what do you think?

    • Nothing, and I don’t consider it something I want for myself at all
    • Aww, I want that, too!/I want to be with my significant other, too!
    • I might find it cute and be happy for them, but don’t want/understand it
    • I wonder how close they were before
    • Nothing/I might think it’s hot
  • Question of

    Have you had sexual intercourse yet?

    • Yes, with a person I’m close to/No, but I’d consider it with a close friend
    • Yes, with a person I’m close to/No, but I’d consider it with a close friend
    • Yes, I liked it/No, but I often consider it
    • No, but I might feel like it/Yes, I liked it
    • Yes, but I didn’t like it/No, and I really don’t want to
  • Question of

    Have you ever had a crush on somebody (with or without a relationship)?

    • Yes, but the person was a really close friend
    • Yes/Not sure
    • Does something like a ‘sexual crush’ exist?
    • Nope, and I don’t find anyone sexually attractive
    • Nope, never, but I might find someone sexually attractive
  • Question of

    Do you flirt?

    • Yes, but not for romantic reasons…maybe to get a one-night stand
    • Yes, I do. I don’t want to have sex, though
    • Yes/I’m too shy, but I’d like to
    • Not really
    • No/With friends sometimes
  • Question of

    Which sentence below are you LEAST likely to say/think?

    • ‘I could literally fall in love with anyone’
    • ‘I love sex’
    • ‘I think I have a crush’
    • ‘Love & sex? Awesome!’
    • ‘I’ve never been in love’
  • Question of

    Which statement about you is the most accurate?

    • I don’t understand how someone could fall in love with someone they just met
    • I don’t know how I could not fall in love
    • Marriage for romantic reasons doesn’t make sense for me
    • I don’t enjoy sex at all. Maybe masturbation, but sex isn’t for me
    • A relationship with love and sexual intercourse is nothing I’d consider
  • Question of

    Which type of permanent relationship is the most appealing to you?

    • Friends with benefits/something similar
    • I’ll be fine with friends/best friends
    • Best friends with someone great
    • A romantic, sexless relationship
    • A stable relationship with everything it usually comes with
  • Question of

    Do you consider marriage to be in your future?

    • Maybe, but I’d probably need some time & would have to know the person a long time beforehand
    • No, but whatever floats someone’s boat
    • Yes, of course
    • Yes, but just for the love
    • Not really. Maybe for financial reasons, or to bond with my sexual partner
  • Question of

    When someone asks why you’re single, what’s your answer?

    • ”I don’t want a relationship”/’I wouldn’t enjoy a sex-only relationship”
    • ”Everyone thinks I’m a prude because I don’t want sex – maybe that’s why”
    • ‘I haven’t found the right one yet”/”I’m not close enough to anyone right now”
    • ”I don’t want a relationship under any circumstances”
    • ”I don’t know, but I keep my eyes open!”
  • Question of

    What do you think about one night stands and friends with benefits for you, personally?

    • It’s great…you can unleash the beast without the commitment
    • Well, if you’re extremely close, it might be cool. But you might fall in love, so maybe it’s not so great
    • The idea does nothing for me at all
    • Maybe I’d like it, maybe not – not sure
    • I don’t like sex, anyway – it’s not my thing
  • Question of

    Last question: What do YOU think you are?

    • Probably asexual
    • Maybe demi-romantic?
    • Whatever sexuality I have, mostly romantic
    • Aromantic
    • Asexual and aromantic

Are you obsessed?

What are your strengths as a romantic partner?