Are You In An Abusive Relationship?

 

“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”
Henry Winkler Song of Solomon

“You know that when I hate you, it is because I love you to a point of passion that unhinges my soul.”
Julie de Lespinasse The Shack

“I love you. I hate you. I like you. I hate you. I love you. I think you’re stupid. I think you’re a loser. I think you’re wonderful. I want to be with you. I don’t want to be with you. I would never date you. I hate you. I love you…..I think the madness started the moment we met and you shook my hand. Did you have a disease or something?”
Shannon L. Alder He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

“She was the third beer. Not the first one, which the throat receives with almost tearful gratitude; nor the second, that confirms and extends the pleasure of the first. But the third, the one you drink because it’s there, because it can’t hurt, and because what difference does it make?”
Toni Morrison, Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype

“I suppose that since most of our hurts come through relationships so will our healing, and I know that grace rarely makes sense for those looking in from the outside.”
Wm. Paul Young, Excuse Me, My Brains Have Stepped Out

“I believe in love the verb, not the noun.”
Greg Behrendt, Rubaiyat

“Sometimes the one who is running from the Life/Death/Life nature insists on thinking of love as a boon only. Yet love in its fullest form is a series of deaths and rebirths. We let go of one phase, one aspect of love, and enter another. Passion dies and is brought back. Pain is chased away and surfaces another time. To love means to embrace and at the same time to withstand many endings, and many many beginnings- all in the same relationship.”
Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

“Because introverts are typically good listeners and, at least, have the appearance of calmness, we are attractive to emotionally needy people. Introverts, gratified that other people are initiating with them, can easily get caught in these exhausting and unsatisfying relationships.”
Adam S. McHugh The Rosie Project

“Learn to deal with the fact that you are not a perfect person but you are a person that deserves respect and honesty.”
Pandora Poikilos, Laughable Loves


Marty McConnell Mythology

“To wisely live your life, you don’t need to know much
Omar Khayyám, The Bridges

“I believe in the immeasurable power of love; that true love can endure any circumstance and reach across any distance.”
Steve Maraboli, He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

“But why, why, why can’t people just say what they mean?”
Graeme Simsion, Eleanor & Park

“Yes, it’s a well-known fact about you: you’re like death, you take everything.”
Milan Kundera, The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember

“Love cannot live where there is no trust.”
Edith Hamilton, Tender is the Night & The Last Tycoon

“What you want most you push away from you.
Tarjei Vesaas, The Time Traveler’s Wife

“The quickest way to rectify that mistake (choosing the wrong person) is by learning from that, moving on, and choosing much more wisely in the future.”
Greg Behrendt, Looking for Alaska

“A man is lucky if he is the first love of a woman. A woman is lucky if she is the last love of a man.”
Charles Dickens New Order

“You think that holding someone hard will bring them closer. You think that you can hold them so hard that you’ll still feel them, embossed on you, when you pull away.
Rainbow Rowell, The Lover’s Dictionary

“Mutual caring relationships require kindness and patience, tolerance, optimism, joy in the other’s achievements, confidence in oneself, and the ability to give without undue thought of gain.”
Fred Rogers, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“Start the Quiz”

  • Question of

    He/she is constantly calling to find out where I am, and if I don’t answer, he gets mad and calls again and again.

    • True
    • False
  • Question of

    He/she puts me down by calling me names and telling me how worthless I am.

    • True
    • False
  • Question of

    He/she tells his/her friends how worthless/stupid I am constantly.

    • True
    • False
  • Question of

    He/she has hit me.

    • True
    • False
  • Question of

    He/she has tried to pressure me in to things I do not want to do.

    • True
    • False
  • Question of

    I have tried to break up with him/her and they won’t let me go.

    • True
    • False
  • Question of

    He/she is starting not to let me get near my family and friends.

    • True
    • False
  • Question of

    He/she looks through my calls/texts.

    • True
    • False
  • Question of

    He/she doesn’t let me go to the hospital, or take pills when I need to.

    • True
    • False
  • Question of

    He/she constantly accuses me of cheating.

    • True
    • False
  • Question of

    What is your age?

    • Under 18 Years Old
    • 18 to 24 Years Old
    • 25 to 30 Years Old
    • 31 to 40 Years Old
    • 41 to 50 Years Old
    • 51 to 60 Years Old
    • Over 60 Years Old
  • Question of

    What is your gender?

    • Male
    • Female
  • Question of

    My partner teases me in hurtful ways and/or calls me names such as ‘STUDIP’ or ‘B—-‘ in private and in public

    • NEVER
    • RARELY
    • SOMETIMES
    • FREQUENTLY
    • ALWAYS
  • Question of

    My partner acts jealous of my friends, family, or co-workers

    • NEVER
    • RARELY
    • SOMETIMES
    • FREQUENTLY
    • ALWAYS
  • Question of

    My partner gets angry about clothes I wear or how I style my hair

    • NEVER
    • RARELY
    • SOMETIMES
    • FREQUENTLY
    • ALWAYS
  • Question of

    My partner blames me for his/her problems or bad mood

    • NEVER
    • RARELY
    • SOMETIMES
    • FREQUENTLY
    • ALWAYS
  • Question of

    My partner gets angry easily, leaving me walking on eggshells

    • NEVER
    • RARELY
    • SOMETIMES
    • FREQUENTLY
    • ALWAYS
  • Question of

    My partner uses drugs and/or alcohol and insist that I do them with him/her

    • NEVER
    • RARELY
    • SOMETIMES
    • FREQUENTLY
    • ALWAYS
  • Question of

    My partner throws or destroys things when he/she are angry

    • NEVER
    • RARELY
    • SOMETIMES
    • FREQUENTLY
    • ALWAYS
  • Question of

    My partner hits walls, drives dangerously and/or does other things to scare me

    • NEVER
    • RARELY
    • SOMETIMES
    • FREQUENTLY
    • ALWAYS
  • Question of

    My partner checks up on me by calling a lot, doing a driving by, and/or getting someone else to do it for him (i.e. STALKING)

    • NEVER
    • RARELY
    • SOMETIMES
    • FREQUENTLY
    • ALWAYS
  • Question of

    I feel isolated and alone and have no one I can really talk to

    • NEVER
    • RARELY
    • SOMETIMES
    • FREQUENTLY
    • ALWAYS
  • Question of

    My partner accuses me of being interested in someone else

    • NEVER
    • RARELY
    • SOMETIMES
    • FREQUENTLY
    • ALWAYS
  • Question of

    My partner reads my mail, email, and goes thru my personal items (i.e. purse, cell phone, check book)

    • NEVER
    • RARELY
    • SOMETIMES
    • FREQUENTLY
    • ALWAYS
  • Question of

    My partner keeps money from me, keeps me in debt, makes me ask/beg and/or has ‘money secrets or problems’

    • NEVER
    • RARELY
    • SOMETIMES
    • FREQUENTLY
    • ALWAYS
  • Question of

    My partner has threatened to hurt/Kill me and/or commit suicide if I leave him/her

    • NEVER
    • RARELY
    • SOMETIMES
    • FREQUENTLY
    • ALWAYS
  • Question of

    My partner has struck me with hands or feet (i.e. slapped, punched, kicked)leaving visible injuries (i.e. bruises, welts, cuts, broken bones)

    • NEVER
    • RARELY
    • SOMETIMES
    • FREQUENTLY
    • ALWAYS
  • Question of

    My partner has struck me with an object and/or threatened me with a weapon (i.e. gun, knife, bat, brick)

    • NEVER
    • RARELY
    • SOMETIMES
    • FREQUENTLY
    • ALWAYS
  • Question of

    My injuries have been serious enough to seek treatment; (i.e. doctor, hospital, clinic, paramedic) even if I didn’t seek medical help

    • NEVER
    • RARELY
    • SOMETIMES
    • FREQUENTLY
    • ALWAYS
  • Question of

    My partner forces me to have sex when I don’t want to and/or have sex in ways I don’t want to

    • NEVER
    • RARELY
    • SOMETIMES
    • FREQUENTLY
    • ALWAYS

Should we break up?

Would your dream relationship be toxic?