Are you ready for a serious relationship?

 

 

Relationships are pretty serious affairs and should not be taken otherwise. The reason for it is that it takes a great deal of time, money, and energy to sustain a relationship and all those resources are very valuable and limited. We, humans, have a very short life and we should not be wasting it on toxic people. This is the reason why we should choose romantic partners wisely.

It is true that you will be attracted to many of the human beings romantically, but you should use some other filters to find your perfect match. These filters will not automatically come in your head. It must be taught to you by somebody.

I have been into quite a few of the relationships and hence I know some broad filters that you could be used by anybody to find their partners.

1. The first up is getting to know if the goals and lifestyle of your partner are compatible with you. The reason for sorting this out is that it might happen that you and your partner’s goals are diverging in nature. They are extremely different and requires a lifestyle that you don’t agree with. This is one of the most important ones and if you could sort it out in the beginning then you will live a pretty happy life.

2. The second one is that you need to know if your partner had any previous relationships and if he/she had gotten over it. If they still have any loose connections with their previous relationships then it is pretty big red flag and you should not move ahead with such a relationship.

3. The third one is to check whether you and your partner are only coming into a relationship for filling each other’s void or not. Because if it is the first case then rest assured that the relationship is not going to last long. You and your partner should be complete as an individual first and then try to get into a relationship.

There are many other things that you could look up for while you are getting into a relationship but those filters are pretty broad in nature and you could use them while you are in search of a partner.

“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.”
― Lisa Kleypas, Blue-Eyed Devil

“I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.”
― Haruki Murakami, South of the Border, West of the Sun

“You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won’t mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever…. connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.”
― C. JoyBell C.

“It hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you, because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it’s so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn’t coma back. You’re left so alone that you can’t explain. Damn, there’s nothing like that, is there? I’ve been there and you have too. You’re nodding your head.”
― Henry Rollins, The Portable Henry Rollins

“We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: it’s got to be the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”

I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.”
― Andrew Boyd, Daily Afflictions: The Agony of Being Connected to Everything in the Universe


“Start the Quiz”

  • Question of

    Do you think of your romantic partners very often?

    • All the time
    • A couple times a day
    • Rarely
    • Almost never
  • Question of

    Do you send your romantic partners little texts and emails periodically to let them know they are in your thoughts?

    • Once a day or so
    • Five or nine times a day
    • Once a week or so
    • Never
  • Question of

    Do you often do little favors for your romantic partners like buying them flowers?

    • A few times a year
    • Once a year
    • Once a relationship
    • Never
  • Question of

    Can you stay monogamous?

    • Absolutely
    • Maybe, but I haven’t tried it yet.
    • I don’t think so.
    • No way
  • Question of

    How jealous are you?

    • I don’t get jealous.
    • I get a little jealous sometimes.
    • I am a very jealous person.
    • I brim with jealousy all the time.
  • Question of

    How often do you plan little getaways for your romantic partners?

    • A few times a year
    • Once a year
    • Once, ever
    • Never
  • Question of

    How much do you know about the families of your romantic partners?

    • Loads, probably more than they know themselves.
    • I know a bit here and there, but I forget names easily.
    • I know their parents’ names, I think.
    • I know nothing of them.
  • Question of

    How much time do you want to spend around your romantic partners’ families?

    • Loads! They’re great!
    • Holidays are always fun with them.
    • I’ll see them when I have to.
    • I never want to see them.
  • Question of

    How good are you at delaying your own gratification?

    • Very good
    • Pretty good
    • I can do it but don’t do it often.
    • I’m awful at that.
  • Question of

    How thoughtful are you?

    • I’m a very thoughtful person.
    • I’m pretty thoughtful most of the time.
    • I have my thoughtful moments.
    • I’m completely thoughtless.
  • Question of

    How much work do you put into your friendships?

    • I put a lot of work into my friendships.
    • I put a decent amount of work into my friendships.
    • I put very little work into my friendships.
    • I put no work into friendships. If they don’t work out, it’s because they weren’t meant to be.
  • Question of

    How willing are you to honor your values?

    • I always honor my values
    • I rarely compromise.
    • I’m not too driven by my values.
    • I have no values.
  • Question of

    Are you willing to side against your own friends, to side with your significant other?

    • Yes, if it comes to that.
    • Probably, depending on the issue
    • Not my very best friends
    • Not at all
  • Question of

    Are you willing to stand up to your own family, in order to take the side of your significant other?

    • Of course I would.
    • I probably would.
    • I probably wouldn’t.
    • I would always side with my family.
  • Question of

    Are you willing to police your “friends” on Facebook when they take a shot at your significant other?

    • Yes, I’ll be all over that.
    • I will do it if it’s major, but otherwise just hope it goes unnoticed.
    • I don’t think I could do that very often.
    • I can’t publicly stand up to my friends! How would that look?

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