Are You The Reacher Or The Settler In Your Relationship?

  • Question of

    What do other people think of your relationship?

    • They think we’re in a toxic situation.
    • They wonder why my partner would ever want to be with someone like me.
    • They don’t think too highly of my partner.
    • They love how much we love each other.
  • Question of

    Does your partner need to change?

    • My partner needs to change a lot. They really need my help.
    • I can’t stand my partner at all anymore.
    • I love who my partner is, and I’ll support them.
    • My partner’s better than me. I’m the one who needs work.
  • Question of

    Are you jealous?

    • I’m super jealous.
    • My partner gets crazy jealous.
    • We respect and trust each other, no jealousy issues.
    • I can’t trust my partner… not after what they did before.
  • Question of

    Why has your relationship lasted?

    • Mutual love, affection, and appreciation for each other.
    • My partner’s stability has kept it going.
    • I’ve kept it afloat, since my partner is erratic.
    • Mutual loathing, at this point, but we’re both too scared to leave.
  • Question of

    What are you afraid of?

    • My partner never growing past what they are today.
    • Being stuck with my partner forever.
    • My partner leaving me behind for someone else.
    • My partner dying.
  • Question of

    Which fictional couple do you relate to?

    • Game of Thrones: I’m Daenerys, my partner is Daario.
    • Twilight: I’m Bella, my partner is Edward.
    • The Addams Family: I’m Morticia, my partner is Gomez.
    • Batman: I’m Harley Quinn, my partner is the Joker.
  • Question of

    Do you try to work out issues together?

    • Yes, we work together to resolve our issues.
    • Our issues never get resolved.
    • I have to fix the issues, since my partner never does the work.
    • I try to please my partner as much as possible, even if it hurts me.
    • See Your Result
  • Question of

    Who pays the bills?

    • We have an arrangement we’re both happy with.
    • I pay for everything, and I don’t like it.
    • My partner pays for everything, and I feel bad.
    • We’re both unhappy with our situation for different reasons.
  • Question of

    Does your partner respect you?

    • They worship the ground I walk on, annoyingly enough.
    • They despise me, as far as I can tell.
    • We both respect each other.
    • I doubt it. Why would they?
  • Question of

    Who initiates sex?

    • We both do, together.
    • We don’t have sex anymore.
    • My partner always waits for me to make the first move.
    • My partner has to be the one who starts it.
  • Question of

    Who is wearing a mask?

    • I’m the one pretending to be better.
    • My partner isn’t as good as they pretend to be.
    • I know who my partner is, and I love them for it.
    • I know who my partner is, and I hate, hate, hate them.
  • Question of

    Who do your mutual friends like better?

    • We don’t have friends anymore.
    • Our friends like us as a couple, together.
    • People always like my partner more.
    • People like me, and they just put up with my partner.
  • Question of

    Does your partner think other things are more important than you?

    • They ruin everything.
    • We’re very important in each other’s lives.
    • I have more important things in my life than relationships.
    • My partner has more important things to worry about than me.
  • Question of

    Is your partner a good person?

    • My partner is a much better person than I’ll ever be.
    • They’re a horrible person.
    • We’re both good people.
    • I think they’re okay, but should try harder.
  • Question of

    Are you attracted to your partner?

    • I’m not very attracted to them, mainly because of their low self-esteem.
    • I’m not attracted to them at all.
    • I’m very attracted to them, and they’re attracted to me.
    • I’m attracted to my partner, but I think they could do better than me.
  • Question of

    Do you trust your partner?

    • I try to, but I’m always worried and jealous.
    • I don’t trust them at all.
    • My partner is too stupid to get anything past me.
    • We trust each other.
  • Question of

    Which of these ways do your arguments tend to end?

    • I walk away, and my partner comes crawling back.
    • I beg for forgiveness.
    • Arguments don’t end, they keep going for days, weeks…
    • We find a resolution, together.
  • Question of

    Where do you see your future?

    • I hope my partner stays with me, but I don’t know if they will.
    • I see a lot of success in my future, and we’ll see if my partner is still around for it.
    • We’ll be happy together, just as we are now.
    • I really hope things will be better than the terrible mess they are now.
  • Question of

    Are you willing to compromise?

    • I’d do anything for my partner, even if it made me unhappy.
    • We’d work together to find a solution that made us both happy.
    • I have to get my way.
    • We’d be miserable with whatever ‘compromise’ we made.
  • Question of

    Does your relationship challenge you?

    • We challenge each other in unique ways.
    • We hurt each other a lot, not in a good way.
    • Nope. It’s too easy.
    • Yes, but I think I’m just making my partner worse.

Are You The Reacher Or The Settler In Your Relationship?

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