Do you communicate effectively with your partner?


“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”
Henry Winkler Song of Solomon

“You know that when I hate you, it is because I love you to a point of passion that unhinges my soul.”
Julie de Lespinasse The Shack

“I love you. I hate you. I like you. I hate you. I love you. I think you’re stupid. I think you’re a loser. I think you’re wonderful. I want to be with you. I don’t want to be with you. I would never date you. I hate you. I love you…..I think the madness started the moment we met and you shook my hand. Did you have a disease or something?”
Shannon L. Alder He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

“She was the third beer. Not the first one, which the throat receives with almost tearful gratitude; nor the second, that confirms and extends the pleasure of the first. But the third, the one you drink because it’s there, because it can’t hurt, and because what difference does it make?”
Toni Morrison, Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype

“I suppose that since most of our hurts come through relationships so will our healing, and I know that grace rarely makes sense for those looking in from the outside.”
Wm. Paul Young, Excuse Me, My Brains Have Stepped Out

“I believe in love the verb, not the noun.”
Greg Behrendt, Rubaiyat

“Sometimes the one who is running from the Life/Death/Life nature insists on thinking of love as a boon only. Yet love in its fullest form is a series of deaths and rebirths. We let go of one phase, one aspect of love, and enter another. Passion dies and is brought back. Pain is chased away and surfaces another time. To love means to embrace and at the same time to withstand many endings, and many many beginnings- all in the same relationship.”
Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

“Because introverts are typically good listeners and, at least, have the appearance of calmness, we are attractive to emotionally needy people. Introverts, gratified that other people are initiating with them, can easily get caught in these exhausting and unsatisfying relationships.”
Adam S. McHugh The Rosie Project

“Learn to deal with the fact that you are not a perfect person but you are a person that deserves respect and honesty.”
Pandora Poikilos, Laughable Loves

“To wisely live your life, you don’t need to know much
Omar Khayyám, The Bridges

Marty McConnell Mythology

“I believe in the immeasurable power of love; that true love can endure any circumstance and reach across any distance.”
Steve Maraboli, He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

“But why, why, why can’t people just say what they mean?”
Graeme Simsion, Eleanor & Park

“Yes, it’s a well-known fact about you: you’re like death, you take everything.”
Milan Kundera, The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember

“What you want most you push away from you.
Tarjei Vesaas, Tender is the Night & The Last Tycoon

“Love cannot live where there is no trust.”
Edith Hamilton, The Time Traveler’s Wife

“A man is lucky if he is the first love of a woman. A woman is lucky if she is the last love of a man.”
Charles Dickens Looking for Alaska

“The quickest way to rectify that mistake (choosing the wrong person) is by learning from that, moving on, and choosing much more wisely in the future.”
Greg Behrendt, New Order

“You think that holding someone hard will bring them closer. You think that you can hold them so hard that you’ll still feel them, embossed on you, when you pull away.
Rainbow Rowell, The Lover’s Dictionary

“Mutual caring relationships require kindness and patience, tolerance, optimism, joy in the other’s achievements, confidence in oneself, and the ability to give without undue thought of gain.”
Fred Rogers, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“Start the Quiz”

  • Question of

    You told your partner you were going to the mall with your (same-sex) friends. Last minute, another friend (of opposite sex) calls to hang out. You…

    • not worry about at the time and just tell your partner when you talk to him/her next
    • don’t tell him/her.
    • call your partner to tell him/her the change of plans.
  • Question of

    You want to hang out with a friend that your partner doesn’t like and is a little jealous of. What do you do?

    • Tell your partner your plans and ask if he/she would like to come along.
    • Explain to your partner that you have the freedom to hang out with whoever you choose, and not to worry about it.
    • You don’t bother to tell your partner because it will just cause an arguement. Plus, ‘what you don’t know won’t hurt you.’
  • Question of

    The two of you are getting ready to go out to dinner. You feel that it is your partner’s turn to pick up the check.

    • Before you leave, you ask your partner if he/she has money to pay for dinner tonight.
    • Oops, you forgot your money.
    • You don’t say anything and avoid the bill when it comes.
  • Question of

    You and your partner are getting ready to go out. You ask him/her if he/she likes what you’re wearing. Your partner tells you that he/she doesn’t really like it.

    • You express that you are happy he/she was honest, but really, you’re a little upset because you either have to find something else to wear or go out being self-conscious.
    • You thank your partner for being honest, but wear the outfit anyway.
    • You get mad at him/her for not liking it.
  • Question of

    Overall, you wish that the two of you would

    • not talk about your relationship so much.
    • talk about things that matter more often.
    • talk like this forever.
  • Question of

    Overall, do you feel that you could communicate more effectively in your relationship?

    • Of course; there are times when I blurt things out without really thinking.
    • I don’t know. I don’t really like to talk about this stuff. It makes me uncomfortable.
    • Not really; we seem to be doing just fine the way things are.
  • Question of

    How often do you have a one-on-one conversation with your partner?

    • often, but sometimes we won’t talk for a day or two
    • at least once a day, even on the weekends
    • hardly ever, we are either too busy or are with all of our other friends
  • Question of

    When you have one-on-one conversations, who usually initiates and carries them?

    • I usually initiate them because my partner doesn’t have much to say
    • We tend to go back and forth, sharing thoughts and ideas
    • My partner, because usually I can’t get a word in
  • Question of

    How often do you argue?

    • all the time
    • never
    • once in awhile
  • Question of

    Your partner ditched you last night. You had plans to see a movie and he/she never called. What do you do?

    • Not say anything and wait for him/her to explain
    • Call your friends to tell them how mad you are and then ignore his/her calls for a little while
    • Call and ask why he/she didn’t call
  • Question of

    Saturday night you decide to hang out with your friends instead of with your parnter; however, he/she wanted to hang out with you. What do you do?

    • Call him/her on Sunday and just act real casual
    • Call him/her before you go and explain the situation, hoping he/she won’t get too mad
    • Not worry about it. Friends are just as important, if not more.
  • Question of

    For your birthday, your partner gets you a shirt that you absolutely hate. What do you do?

    • Return it, but don’t say anything. You don’t want to hurt his feelings.
    • Pretend that you like it and wear it just around him, if at all
    • Tell him/her it was a wonderful thought, but it’s not really your style
  • Question of

    You are ready to leave the party, but you can tell your partner is having a lot of fun. What do you do?

    • Just go. You’ll call him/her later.
    • Not say anything and wait until he/she is ready.
    • Tell your partner that you’d like to leave soon and ask him/her if that’s ok.
  • Question of

    You cooked dinner – a lovely meal the two of you enjoyed together. You feel that your partner should clean up the mess, but he/she is showing no initiative to do so. How do you approach the situation?

    • Wait a little while and if your partner doesn’t do them, you’ll grudgingly do them yourself
    • Tell him/her to do the dishes.
    • Ask him/her to do the dishes.

Are you truly meant for each other?

Is Your Love For Real?