How famous will you be?


“Start the Quiz”

  • Question of

    You are given the opportunity to do a duet with a world famous rapper and you have to write the lyrics. Do you:

    • Take the film The Sound Of Music and turn it into a 3 minute rap battle. Rename yourself Von Rapp.
    • Call up the rapper for advice and work on the lyrics together.
    • Put them on quiet backing vocals. This is your moment to shine.
    • Make sure you and the rapper are entwined on the back of a motorbike for the music video and hope a few grunts will pass as lyrics.
  • Question of

    You have been offered a lead role in a horror movie with a famous director. But they want method acting and really want to chop off your hand with an axe. Do you

    • Decline. Your limbs are important to you.
    • Ask “Will it be my masturbating hand?”
    • Agree. If they sew it back on afterwards.
    • Make one of your entourage sacrifice one of their hands as your body double.
  • Question of

    Would you have sex with someone to further your career?

    • Yes – I would have sex with a potato if I thought it would gain me more twitter followers.
    • No – I am saving myself for a celebrity sex tape reveal. It’s a pre-recorded trilogy.
    • My body is a temple and anyone who can make me famous can enter.
    • No – absolutely not.
  • Question of

    You have been successful in getting on the Masterchef cooking competition. What is your signature dish?

    • The lightly sauteed entrails of your main competitor.
    • A classic French dish you have practiced for weeks.
    • Locally sourced ingredients from your surroundings, beer battered cockroaches.
    • Yourself reclining naked on a silver platter covered in french fries.
  • Question of

    Would you have plastic surgery to improve your appearance?

    • I have already had so much plastic surgery a shop assistant once started to take my clothes off when she mistook me for a store mannequin.
    • Yes if necessary but combined with a good diet and exercise.
    • Yes – I would sit in a bath of rat semen if I thought it would make me look younger.
    • No – I am already so beautiful I stare at myself for hours in the mirror.
  • Question of

    Michael Bay asks you to take over as director for the next Transformer film. Do you

    • Follow Mr.Bay’s successful formula and break box office records.
    • Cast yourself in every single role including Megatron. You are that talented.
    • Change it to a makeover documentary called Transformers – Ugly Mingers in Disguise.
    • Rewrite it as a romantic comedy about the forbidden love between humans and machines. R18.
  • Question of

    You have been asked to star in a remake of an old Clint Eastwood movie “Every Which Way But Loose” and your co-star is an orangutan. But you have to snog the monkey. Do you say

    • Yes if it is tastefully done and relevant to the plot.
    • Technically an orangutan is an Ape not a Monkey you moron.
    • I would have sex with an orangutan if I thought it would win me an Oscar.
    • No absolutely not.
  • Question of

    As you are leaving your mansion you accidentally drive over a fan waiting outside your gates. Your response is

    • Go straight to the hospital with flowers, a signed photo and make a public apology.
    • If a fan risks death in the pursuit of celebrity worship then natural selection is doing its job.
    • Go straight to the hospital, have sex with them, get married and sell your love story to the highest bidder.
    • Whatever – there are a thousand more where they came from.
  • Question of

    Fame is

    • A result of hard work and dedication to my craft.
    • The chance to have sex with my celebrity crush.
    • My chance to prove that money can make you very happy.
    • The first of many steps to world domination.
  • Question of

    If someone was to describe you as a VIP what would they mean?

    • Very Interested in Paparazzi.
    • Vomits In Public
    • Villainous Intimidating Pretentious.
    • Very Into Pizza.

What will your future life be like?

Will you be successful?