How Judgy are you really?

  • Question of

    Coffee’s a topic that gets many people stirred up. What’s your strongest coffee-related opinion?

    • I dunno. Coffee is coffee!
    • OK, I’m not that picky, but I draw the line at instant coffee. If you’re pouring one of those packets into your mug, I will definitely side eye you.
    • I will roll my eyes so hard at the 120-degree, oat milk macchiato with a dash of sea salt and two pumps of vanilla people.
    • Starbucks tastes like boiled ash and garbage and people who drink it have no taste.
  • Question of

    You’re talking to someone about current events, but it seems they haven’t heard the big news. What do you think?

    • I just explain to them what happened.
    • Sometimes people don’t have time to read the news, I know, but I can’t understand not knowing breaking news like this.
    • I’m seriously taken aback. Do they even read the news?
    • They’re so uneducated.
  • Question of

    Your neighbor always dresses super fancy, even just to go to the grocery store. Thoughts?

    • They look great.
    • Definitely a little extra
    • Who are they trying to impress?
    • Try-hard. Times ten.
  • Question of

    One of your coworkers confides in you, explaining a huge technical error they made on the job. What’s your response?

    • Meh, everyone makes mistakes.
    • People make mistakes, but that’s a pretty glaring error.
    • Wow, I can’t believe they did that. I wonder if they’re qualified for this position.
    • I might have to tell the boss. They should be fired for that!
  • Question of

    This woman you just met is raving about the latest episode of “Keeping up with the Kardashians.” How do you react?

    • Ask her what she thought about the Kylie and Jordyn Woods drama, obviously!
    • Meh, it’s not for me, but who cares what she likes?
    • I’ll definitely cringe, because I can’t stand that show (or the Kardashians).
    • Ugh, gross. Only people as unintelligent as the Kardashians themselves can watch that trash.
  • Question of

    You just found out that someone you know has never read your favorite book, which is widely considered a classic piece of literature. What do you say?

    • I can lend it to you, that is, if you want!
    • Wow, no way. You HAVE to read it.
    • But have you read ANY books by this author?
    • OMG, do you even know how to read?
  • Question of

    A friend of yours just mispronounced quinoa, and they’ve also never tried it. How do you respond?

    • I don’t mention it.
    • Tell them that they totally have to try it! And gently correct their pronunciation.
    • OMG, you don’t know what QUINOA is?
    • Gasp! You uncultured fool.
  • Question of

    Pretend that you just walked through a horde of Potterheads in line for the latest book (Surprise! There’s one more). What’s going through your head right now?

    • Oh no, I’m going to be at the back of the line!
    • I like the books too, but some people take their obsession to an extreme.
    • I wish people would get this excited about more sophisticated books, to be honest.
    • These adults who are obsessed with a kids’ book are totally immature and embarrassing. Plus, lining up for anything is embarrassing.
  • Question of

    You’ve been texting someone who consistently uses the wrong form of your/you’re. Thoughts?

    • Whatever, I’m not the grammar police.
    • I tend to make some assumptions about incorrect grammar.
    • I give them a grammar lesson with just the right amount of snark.
    • Bye, Felicia. They’re gone. (Although they would probably spell it “there,” ha!)
  • Question of

    You’re talking about university with a group of acquaintances. How likely are you to judge people based on where they went to school?

    • Not likely. It doesn’t really matter.
    • Somewhat likely. I also tend to judge people who didn’t attend college.
    • I definitely will make some assumptions on how intelligent or hardworking they are, but who wouldn’t?
    • Umm, very. If employers do it, why can’t I?
  • Question of

    You just met someone who has never traveled outside the U.S. What do you think?

    • A lot of people can’t afford to travel or don’t want to.
    • Well, 64% of Americans don’t have a passport, so it’s not like that’s unique.
    • OMG, I can’t imagine. How awful.
    • How pathetic. They must be ignorant and uncultured.
  • Question of

    You carpool with your coworker, who always listens to the Top 40. When you inquire about their musical tastes, they list off major pop stars like the Jonas Brothers and Ariana Grande. What’s your inner monologue sound like in this situation?

    • I love me some Ariana, too!
    • Don’t get me wrong, I like the Top 40, too. But I don’t understand only listening to the hits.
    • OK, but have you heard of Pitchfork?
    • Yikes. Get some real taste in music.
  • Question of

    Your aunt and uncle are going on a cruise! What do you think about that, really?

    • If they’ll have fun on it, that’s great!
    • Cruises definitely aren’t for me, and I can’t help but wondering why people would go on one.
    • It’s just so typical, middle-aged tourist.
    • Gross and tacky. Why don’t you actually travel somewhere instead of sitting on a boat?
  • Question of

    You’re at a party, and someone you just met hasn’t seen like, any of the indie movies you love. What do you say?

    • Do you have any movie recommendations?
    • Honestly, I’m not really sure if a conversation about movies can go much further at this point, haha!
    • OMG, I can’t believe you’ve never seen this French movie. It’s like, the most powerful piece of cinema of the last half-century.
    • Ugh, get lost.
  • Question of

    Maybe you heard about the Houston school that imposed a dress code on parents who pick their children up from school or attend events. What’s your stance on that?

    • I don’t endorse any dress codes.
    • I mean, I think the ban on parents wearing ripped jeans is going a little too far, but the sentiment is OK.
    • I think I’m for it. It teaches respect.
    • I’m totally for it! Parents should not be picking up students in sweats or with towels on their heads. So not classy.

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