How Supportive Is Your Relationship?

 

 

For a healthy state of mind it is necessary to be in relationships that are supportive. Such relationships are not only mutually beneficial, but also help in challenging times. Such a relationship even one is necessary for every individual, because it helps us achieve a lo more than they could on their own.

Though these relationships can be difficult at times just like any other relationship, but what makes it different is that the driving force here is commitment. There should be commitment that no matter how bad things get, both the people will get through it together. This commitment takes a lot of effort.

Now there will be different degrees of such a relationship, depending on the kind of relation you have with the other person. The intensity will differ depending on whether you are friends, family or neither. It is vital to evaluate who is worthy of our time and support and whether will they be able to reciprocate it when you are in need of it. When it comes to relationships and people, people can often be quick to give their time to anyone the comes along, but it can do more damage than good, therefore it is important for one to be very careful.

“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.”
― Lisa Kleypas, Blue-Eyed Devil

“I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.”
― Haruki Murakami, South of the Border, West of the Sun

“You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won’t mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever…. connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.”
― C. JoyBell C.

“It hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you, because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it’s so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn’t coma back. You’re left so alone that you can’t explain. Damn, there’s nothing like that, is there? I’ve been there and you have too. You’re nodding your head.”
― Henry Rollins, The Portable Henry Rollins

“We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: it’s got to be the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”

I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.”
― Andrew Boyd, Daily Afflictions: The Agony of Being Connected to Everything in the Universe


“Start the Quiz”

  • Question of

    How do you usually feel when you’re around your partner?

    • Happy and relaxed
    • Depends on what we’re doing
    • Neutral
    • Mildly irritated
  • Question of

    When you tell your partner a story, do they really listen?

    • Yes. Not only do they ask me questions about the story while I’m telling it, but they also remember details from the story later.
    • Yes, most of the time. But if my partner is stressed out about something else, they sometimes don’t listen very carefully to me.
    • My partner says “Yeah” and “Uh-huh” when I talk but doesn’t seem genuinely interested in what I’m saying.
    • No. My partner says that most of my stories are boring.
  • Question of

    How do you and your partner split up household chores?

    • Since we both work, we split chores 50/50.
    • The partner who doesn’t work does the majority of the chores.
    • I do a lot more chores than my partner does.
    • To get my partner to do anything around the house, I have to nag and nag and nag.
  • Question of

    Let’s say you just got some good news. Who’s the first person you’re going to call?

    • My partner!
    • My mom. But then I’ll call my partner!
    • My best friend
    • I don’t know. I don’t have a lot of close friends.
  • Question of

    When you make plans with friends that don’t include your partner, do they get upset?

    • No. They know we shouldn’t spend all our free time together.
    • They’re only annoyed if I don’t tell them about the plans beforehand.
    • They grumble, but I don’t think they actually mind that much.
    • Yes. They say it means that I’m not focused enough on our relationship.
  • Question of

    Can you tell your partner anything?

    • Of course. Sometimes I even tell them things that are kind of embarrassing.
    • I probably could, but I like to keep some stuff private.
    • I think so? I’m not sure.
    • No. My partner might not respect me if they knew everything about me.
  • Question of

    Has your partner ever snooped on your phone or computer?

    • No, never!
    • I don’t think so.
    • They did once, but they apologized after I told them how much it bothered me.
    • Yes, unfortunately
  • Question of

    In your opinion, does your partner genuinely like you as a friend?

    • Yes. We are best friends.
    • I think so. We have a good time hanging out.
    • I’m not sure we’d be friends if we weren’t together.
    • Our connection is mostly physical.
  • Question of

    How often do you ask your partner questions about their feelings?

    • Daily
    • Whenever they seem down
    • Whenever something really big happens
    • Very rarely
  • Question of

    Do you and your partner share a similar vision for the future, i.e., marriage and kids?

    • We’ve talked about those issues and are on the same page.
    • Our goals for the future are roughly the same, although we need to discuss what our time frame is.
    • We’ve never talked about that.
    • We don’t see eye to eye on this stuff, but I’m hoping they’ll change their mind.
  • Question of

    What do you do when your partner wants to vent to you about their job?

    • I say, “Tell me all about it!”
    • I make myself a cup of tea and settle down to listen.
    • I put on a “patient” facial expression and prepare to suffer through it.
    • I say, “Ah geez, right now?”
  • Question of

    Do you try to like your partner’s friends?

    • Yes. It’s not hard, because my partner has great taste in people.
    • I like some of my partner’s friends (but not others).
    • I make an effort with them, even though they’re not my kind of people.
    • No. They’re all sort of horrible.
  • Question of

    How often do you do nice things for your partner, such as surprising them with gifts?

    • I try to do little things for my partner all the time.
    • I surprise them with gifts for all the major holidays.
    • If it’s their birthday, I try to treat them to something special.
    • Surprise gifts? Who am I, Santa Claus?
  • Question of

    Has your partner ever mocked your political opinions?

    • No. We mostly agree about politics.
    • Every once in a while we debate each other, but it’s never meanspirited.
    • They used to, but they stopped doing so at my request.
    • Yes. They think my ideas are really bad.
  • Question of

    When you’re sick, how does your partner act?

    • They feed me chicken soup, bring me tissues and pamper me!
    • They try to take care of me, even though they’re not good at it.
    • They give me cold medicine and the remote.
    • They ignore me until I’m better again.

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