Make a Weird Online Dating Profile and We’ll Guess If You’ve Found Love

 

 

Give little information It is important that you strike the right balance between too little and too much information. If you do not provide enough information in your profile or quiz you could be overwhelmed with a wide range of matches Omitting too much information would undermine your chances of finding a good match Add some details about yourself so that people can share common interests with you However always remember not to give too much information at this time

SafetyThis is not only about giving information but also about how you want to attract a potential partner Far from scattering little touches here and there try to paint a unique picture of yourself Mention that you love the sport especially tennis that you play it every weekend but don’t mention where This is the private information that you should not divulge when communicating with potential partner for the first time When it comes to a date make sure you tell someone (friends or family) of your plans Tell them where you will be and for how long and above all always have a phone with you.
“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fcking phone call.”
Greg Behrendt Sex and the City

“Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.”
Candace Bushnell, City of Ashes

“I’m about to make a wild, extreme and severe relationship rule: the word busy is a load of crap and is most often used by assholes. The word “busy” is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact in every silo you uncover, all you’re going to find is a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember men are never to busy to get what they want.”
Greg Behrendt My Sister’s Keeper

“We’re not dating,” Alec said again.
Cassandra Clare, Venus in Arms

“I wondered what happened when you offered yourself to someone, and they opened you, only to discover you were not the gift they expected and they had to smile and nod and say thank you all the same.”
Jodi Picoult, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect.”
Criss Jami, Animal Instincts

“Well?” Ron said finally, looking up at Harry. “How was it?”
J.K. Rowling, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

“Ten Things You Shouldn’t Say on a Date.
Gena Showalter, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

“People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities. Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of it.’? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.”
Elizabeth Gilbert, City of Bones

“Who’re you going with, then?” said Ron.
J.K. Rowling, He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

“Pretty soon the only people left without a girlfriend will be me and Wendell the school janitor, and he smells like windex.”
Cassandra Clare, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence

“Here’s something else to think about: calling when you say you’re going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can’t lay this one stupid brick down, you ain’t never gonna have a house baby, and it’s cold outside.”
Greg Behrendt, He’s Just Not That Into You

“Don’t leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.”
Amy Sedaris, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

“Let’s start with this statistic: You are delicious. Be brave, my sweet. I know you can get lonely. I know you can crave companionship and sex and love so badly that it physically hurts. But I truly believe that the only way you can find out that there’s something better out there is to first believe there’s something better out there. What other choice is there?”
Greg Behrendt, Mend My Broken Heart

“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”
Mandy Hale, He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

“To be rejected by someone doesn’t mean you should also reject yourself or that you should think of yourself as a lesser person. It doesn’t mean that nobody will ever love you anymore. Remember that only ONE person has rejected you at the moment, and it only hurt so much because to you, that person’s opinion symbolized the opinion of the whole world, of God.”
Jocelyn Soriano, Dead to the World

“You picked a lemon, throw it away lemonade is overrated. Freaks should remain at the circus, not in your apartment. You already have one asshole. You don’t need another. Make a space in your life for the glorious things you deserve. Have faith.”
Greg Behrendt , The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

“It’s probably a bad indicator of your lifestyle when you miss your ex-boyfriend because he’s absolutely lethal.”
Charlaine Harris, Spirit Bound

“A busy, vibrant, goal-oriented woman is so much more attractive than a woman who waits around for a man to validate her existence.”
Mandy Hale, He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

“When you loved someone and had to let them go, there will always be that small part of yourself that whispers, “What was it that you wanted and why didn’t you fight for it?”
Shannon L. Alder The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

“Hey, he’s awesome. A little unstable, but awesome. We got along great.” Adrian opened the door to the building we were seeking. “And he’s a badass in his way too. I mean, any other guy who wore scarves like that? He’d be laughed out of this school. Not Abe. He’d beat someone almost as badly as you would. In fact…” Adrian’s voice turned nervous. I gave him a surprised look.
Richelle Mead, Spirit Bound

“Busy’ is another word for ‘asshole’. ‘Asshole’ is another word for the guy you’re dating.”
Greg Behrendt, Mend My Broken Heart

“There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.”
Judith Martin The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

“Rejection is an opportunity for your selection.”
Bernard Branson Blood Promise

“Hope for love, pray for love, wish for love, dream for love…but don’t put your life on hold waiting for love.”
Mandy Hale, Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead

“Start the Quiz”

  • Question of

    What would you put as your age?

    • Leave it blank
    • Way older
    • Way younger
    • My actual age, duh
  • Question of

    Which weird job would you choose for your profile?

    • Flencer
    • Stay at home astronaut
    • Dreamer
    • Cat psychologist
  • Question of

    If you had to include a meme from which of these popular shows in your pictures, which would you choose?

    • ‘Friends’
    • ‘Steven Universe’
    • ‘Rick and Morty’
    • ‘The Office’
  • Question of

    Which food would you include a picture of?

    • Tacos
    • Sushi
    • A bowl of cereal
    • Pizza
  • Question of

    How many cats are you telling people you have?

    • 10
    • 3
    • 29
    • 0
  • Question of

    In how many of your pictures are you going to be by yourself?

    • All of them
    • Most of them
    • None of them
    • Just one
  • Question of

    Which of these would you be more likely to include in your profile?

    • ‘No drama’
    • ‘No kids’
    • ‘Never married’
    • Your astrological sign
  • Question of

    Would you tell people that you are an ‘alpha’ in your profile?

    • Definitely
    • Maybe
    • Probably not
    • Never
  • Question of

    You’re into anime. How present is that in your profile?

    • It’s all that’s there
    • It’s a big chunk of it
    • It’s briefly mentioned
    • I don’t mention it at all
  • Question of

    Which of these obnoxious profile mistakes are you ready to lean fully into?

    • All emojis
    • Blank
    • A list of demands for others
    • Listing only my height
  • Question of

    You like to travel a lot. Is having your profile be nothing except flag emojis of all of the places you have been a good idea?

    • Yes!
    • Probably
    • Maybe not
    • No way
  • Question of

    You are looking to find a serious relationship online. How do you convey this?

    • Say I’m looking for my soulmate
    • Mention marriage
    • ‘No hookups’
    • I don’t
  • Question of

    Pick a phrase you think would freak people out the most to spice things up:

    • ‘Soldier of Christ’
    • ‘Modern Gentleman’
    • ‘Chill Gemini’
    • ‘Cult leader’
  • Question of

    How political are you going to get on your profile?

    • Incredibly political
    • Somewhat
    • Not very
    • Not at all
  • Question of

    Some people claim to be using their online dating profiles for things other than dating. Which of these would you include?

    • Networking
    • Illegal activities
    • Bible study
    • Starting a coven

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