Should I Get Back With My Ex?

 

“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.”
John Joseph Powell, The Secret of Staying in Love

“I was suffering the easily foreseeable consequences. Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never dared to admit you wanted-an emotional speedball, perhaps, of thunderous love and roiling excitement. Soon you start craving that intense attention, with a hungry obsession of any junkie. When the drug is witheld, you promptly turn sick, crazy, and depleted (not to mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place but now refuses to pony up the good stuff anymore– despite the fact that you know he has it hidden somewhere, goddamn it, because he used to give it to you for free). Next stage finds you skinny and shaking in a corner, certain only that you would sell your soul or rob your neighbors just to have ‘that thing’ even one more time. Meanwhile, the object of your adoration has now become repulsed by you. He looks at you like you’re someone he’s never met before, much less someone he once loved with high passion. The irony is,you can hardly blame him. I mean, check yourself out. You’re a pathetic mess,unrecognizable even to your own eyes. So that’s it. You have now reached infatuation’s final destination– the complete and merciless devaluation of self.” – pg 20-21”
Elizabeth Gilbert Sputnik Sweetheart

“Of course it hurt that we could never love each other in a physical way. We would have been far more happy if we had. But that was like the tides, the change of seasons–something immutable, an immovable destiny we could never alter. No matter how cleverly we might shelter it, our delicate friendship wasn’t going to last forever. We were bound to reach a dead end. That was painfully clear.”
Haruki Murakami, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

“I think you are wrong to want a heart. It makes most people unhappy. If you only knew it, you are in luck not to have a heart.”
L. Frank Baum, The Wise Man’s Fear

“nothing in this world was more difficult than love.”
Gabriel García Márquez The Goddess Test

“Books are a poor substitute for female companionship, but they are easier to find.”
Patrick Rothfuss, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence

“I care,” he said in a trembling voice. “I care so much that I do not know how to tell you without it seeming inconsequential compared to how I feel. Even if I am distant at times and seem as if I do not want to be with you, it is only because this scares me, too.”
Aimee Carter, The Indigo Spell

“Don’t leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.”
Amy Sedaris, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment

“Because I can’t help doing it,” he said with a shrug. “And hey, if I keep loving you, maybe you’ll eventually crack and love me too. Hell, I’m pretty sure you’re already half in love with me.”
Richelle Mead, Rules of Attraction

“All I’m telling you to do is to be smart about it. Know that if this man isn’t looking for a serious relationship, you’re not going to change his mind just because you two are going on dates and being intimate. You could be the most perfect woman on the Lord’s green earth-you’re capable of interesting conversation, you cook a mean breakfast, you hand out backrubs like sandwiches, you’re independent (which means, to him, that you’re not going to be in his pockets)-but if he’s not ready for a serious relationship, he going to treat you like sports fish.”
Steve Harvey, Emma

“Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.”
Shannon L. Alder Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

“We kiss all the time.” I clear my throat, then add, “We just…do it in private.”
Simone Elkeles, I Wrote This For You

“Seldom, very seldom, does complete truth belong to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that something is not a little disguised or a little mistaken.”
Jane Austen, Max

“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.”
Steve Maraboli, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

“You’re just another story I can’t tell anymore.”
pleasefindthis, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

“He could totally be your boyfriend,” [Angel] went on with annoying persistance. “You guys could get married. I could be like a junior bridesmaid. Total could be your flower dog.”
James Patterson, Breaking Bread: Insurgent Black Intellectual Life

“Moving on is easy. It’s staying moved on that’s trickier.”
Katerina Stoykova Klemer The English Patient

“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”
Mandy Hale, Letters to a Young Poet

“A fit, healthy body—that is the best fashion statement”
Jess C Scott Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

“How would your life be different if…You walked away from gossip and verbal defamation? Let today be the day…You speak only the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same.”
Steve Maraboli, Wicked Lovely

“There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it.”
Shannon L. Alder All About Love: New Visions

“We have to recognise that there cannot be relationships unless there is commitment, unless there is loyalty, unless there is love, patience, persistence.”
Cornel West, Warbreaker

“We die containing a richness of lovers and tribes, tastes we have swallowed, bodies we have plunged into and swum up as if rivers of wisdom, characters we have climbed into as if trees, fears we have hidden in as if caves.
Michael Ondaatje, How to Win Friends and Influence People

“only someone who is ready for everything, who doesn’t exclude any experience, even the most incomprehensible, will live the relationship with another person as something alive and will himself sound the depths of his own being.”
Rainer Maria Rilke, Seven Words of Jesus and Mary: Lessons from Cana and Calvary

“Start the Quiz”

  • Question of

    Who chose to break it off?

    • He did, I messed up big time.
    • I did, he messed up big time.
    • He did, and I don’t know why.
    • We just drifted apart.
    • I did, I just felt it was right.
  • Question of

    Does he still like you?

    • Yes, at least I think so.
    • Probably not
    • I have no idea
    • Definitely not
    • Absolutely
  • Question of

    Was he a good boyfriend?

    • He cheated/abused/teased me
    • Mostly, but he slipped up every so often
    • Yes, he was very doting and sweet.
    • He was average I guess?
  • Question of

    How many boyfriends have you had?

    • He is my second or third
    • I have lost track
    • Fourth or fifth?
    • He is my first.
    • Sixth or more
  • Question of

    What would you do if he started dating someone else?

    • Smile and laugh, but be hurt inside
    • Cry for hours
    • Am I supposed to care?
    • Oh wow he forgot about me real quick
    • Good for him!
  • Question of

    How was your breakup?

    • Super chill, we both agreed
    • It broke me, I’m still not over it
    • I was upset, but that is normal
    • Very confusing…
    • One of us got violent
  • Question of

    Be honest with yourself… Do you miss him

    • I thought I did… but maybe I… Don’t?
    • I guess
    • Yes, every single second
    • Not. At. All.
    • One second I think I do and the other I don’t
  • Question of

    Why do you miss him?

    • He made me feel good
    • He was super hot
    • He made me feel good, he was hot, AND he cared
    • He really cared about me
    • He elevated my status, or, I liked the attention
  • Question of

    Do you think he misses you?

    • We haven’t talked
    • He does not
    • I have no clue
    • He told my friend/ acquaintance he did
    • He definitely does
  • Question of

    What does the thought of you two back together make you feel?

    • I can’t tell
    • A little weird
    • …not good
    • Whole
    • Over the moon
  • Question of

    Are you two currently in contact?

    • Nope!
    • Yes, we interact on social media.
    • We have coffee every once in a while.
    • We’re so close, it’s like we never broke up.
  • Question of

    Who initiates your conversations?

    • He’s blocked my number.
    • Sometimes he initiates, but only late at night.
    • He does.
    • I do.
  • Question of

    Do you ever hang out?

    • Not on purpose
    • Yes, every once in a while
    • If we run into each other, we’ll often get a drink together.
    • We hang out constantly.
  • Question of

    At what time of day does your ex usually contact you?

    • He never contacts me.
    • 2 a.m.
    • It varies. There’s no specific time.
    • Once he gets off work, he barrages me with texts.
  • Question of

    Does he talk to you about other love interests in his life?

    • Yes. He’s made it obvious that he has someone new.
    • No … but I know he has them.
    • No, and I’m sure there’s no one else.
    • Sometimes, but I think he’s just trying to make me jealous.
  • Question of

    When you run into him, how does he act?

    • Cold
    • Mildly embarrassed
    • Incredibly happy
    • Sometimes pleased, sometimes awkward
  • Question of

    How do his friends treat you?

    • They’re rude to me.
    • I don’t really know any of his friends.
    • They’re really nice to me.
    • I think they wish we weren’t together.
  • Question of

    Do you notice him flirting with other people on social media?

    • I can’t tell, since he’s blocked me on social media.
    • Yes. He’s always liking other people’s photos on Instagram.
    • No. But he likes everything that I post.
    • Yes, sometimes I see him going back-and-forth with various people. To tell the truth, we fight about it.
  • Question of

    When you talk about other guys, does he seem jealous?

    • No
    • He seems amused … but I think he’s a tiny bit jealous.
    • He doesn’t act jealous; he acts hurt.
    • Yes
  • Question of

    Did you two have a relatively amicable breakup?

    • No. We had a terrible fight and haven’t spoken since.
    • It was pretty friendly … almost as if we weren’t really breaking up.
    • We both tried to stay civil, but it was really sad.
    • Our breakup was messy AF.

Do I Still Love My Ex?

Do you Still love your Ex-boyfriend?