Should you break up with him?


“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.”
John Joseph Powell, The Secret of Staying in Love

“I was suffering the easily foreseeable consequences. Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never dared to admit you wanted-an emotional speedball, perhaps, of thunderous love and roiling excitement. Soon you start craving that intense attention, with a hungry obsession of any junkie. When the drug is witheld, you promptly turn sick, crazy, and depleted (not to mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place but now refuses to pony up the good stuff anymore– despite the fact that you know he has it hidden somewhere, goddamn it, because he used to give it to you for free). Next stage finds you skinny and shaking in a corner, certain only that you would sell your soul or rob your neighbors just to have ‘that thing’ even one more time. Meanwhile, the object of your adoration has now become repulsed by you. He looks at you like you’re someone he’s never met before, much less someone he once loved with high passion. The irony is,you can hardly blame him. I mean, check yourself out. You’re a pathetic mess,unrecognizable even to your own eyes. So that’s it. You have now reached infatuation’s final destination– the complete and merciless devaluation of self.” – pg 20-21”
Elizabeth Gilbert Sputnik Sweetheart

“Of course it hurt that we could never love each other in a physical way. We would have been far more happy if we had. But that was like the tides, the change of seasons–something immutable, an immovable destiny we could never alter. No matter how cleverly we might shelter it, our delicate friendship wasn’t going to last forever. We were bound to reach a dead end. That was painfully clear.”
Haruki Murakami, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

“I think you are wrong to want a heart. It makes most people unhappy. If you only knew it, you are in luck not to have a heart.”
L. Frank Baum, The Wise Man’s Fear

“nothing in this world was more difficult than love.”
Gabriel García Márquez The Goddess Test

“Books are a poor substitute for female companionship, but they are easier to find.”
Patrick Rothfuss, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence

“I care,” he said in a trembling voice. “I care so much that I do not know how to tell you without it seeming inconsequential compared to how I feel. Even if I am distant at times and seem as if I do not want to be with you, it is only because this scares me, too.”
Aimee Carter, The Indigo Spell

“Don’t leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.”
Amy Sedaris, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment

“Because I can’t help doing it,” he said with a shrug. “And hey, if I keep loving you, maybe you’ll eventually crack and love me too. Hell, I’m pretty sure you’re already half in love with me.”
Richelle Mead, Rules of Attraction

“All I’m telling you to do is to be smart about it. Know that if this man isn’t looking for a serious relationship, you’re not going to change his mind just because you two are going on dates and being intimate. You could be the most perfect woman on the Lord’s green earth-you’re capable of interesting conversation, you cook a mean breakfast, you hand out backrubs like sandwiches, you’re independent (which means, to him, that you’re not going to be in his pockets)-but if he’s not ready for a serious relationship, he going to treat you like sports fish.”
Steve Harvey, Emma

“Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.”
Shannon L. Alder Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

“We kiss all the time.” I clear my throat, then add, “We just…do it in private.”
Simone Elkeles, I Wrote This For You

“Seldom, very seldom, does complete truth belong to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that something is not a little disguised or a little mistaken.”
Jane Austen, Max

“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.”
Steve Maraboli, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

“You’re just another story I can’t tell anymore.”
pleasefindthis, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

“He could totally be your boyfriend,” [Angel] went on with annoying persistance. “You guys could get married. I could be like a junior bridesmaid. Total could be your flower dog.”
James Patterson, Breaking Bread: Insurgent Black Intellectual Life

“Moving on is easy. It’s staying moved on that’s trickier.”
Katerina Stoykova Klemer The English Patient

“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”
Mandy Hale, Letters to a Young Poet

“A fit, healthy body—that is the best fashion statement”
Jess C Scott Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

“How would your life be different if…You walked away from gossip and verbal defamation? Let today be the day…You speak only the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same.”
Steve Maraboli, Wicked Lovely

“There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it.”
Shannon L. Alder All About Love: New Visions

“We have to recognise that there cannot be relationships unless there is commitment, unless there is loyalty, unless there is love, patience, persistence.”
Cornel West, Warbreaker

“We die containing a richness of lovers and tribes, tastes we have swallowed, bodies we have plunged into and swum up as if rivers of wisdom, characters we have climbed into as if trees, fears we have hidden in as if caves.
Michael Ondaatje, How to Win Friends and Influence People

“only someone who is ready for everything, who doesn’t exclude any experience, even the most incomprehensible, will live the relationship with another person as something alive and will himself sound the depths of his own being.”
Rainer Maria Rilke, Seven Words of Jesus and Mary: Lessons from Cana and Calvary

“Start the Quiz”

  • Question of

    How attached are you?

    • I care about him and all, but he isn’t a priority.
    • I couldn’t live without him.
    • I really do love/like him.
    • I don’t need him.
  • Question of

    When he’s gone, do you miss him?

    • I miss him so much.:)
    • Yeah, but we talk a bunch when he’s gone.
    • Meh.
    • It’s kind of nice to get a break.
  • Question of

    What are your conversations like?

    • Awkward and shallow.
    • Amazing. We laugh and joke, but we also can talk about deep, personal things.
    • They’re pretty good! I always want to talk.
    • Pretty boring, but we sometimes have fun.
  • Question of

    What are your dates like?

    • They’re okay.
    • Awful. We can’t do anything without arguing, being bored, or getting ticked.
    • Sometimes lame, but good because we’re there together.
    • Varied and interesting, full of adventure and fun.
  • Question of

    How long have you been going out?

    • Several years (and it feels like it).
    • A couple of years, but it’s been smooth sailing.
    • Just a couple of weeks.
    • A few months.
  • Question of

    Why are you taking this quiz? (BE HONEST)

    • Kind of as a joke.
    • I’m sort of uncertain about this whole ‘couple’ thing we have going on.
    • I need a valid reason to dump this dude.
    • Mostly a joke, but I’ll admit that I have some unwanted feelings.
  • Question of

    Who titled the relationship?

    • Mutual.
    • Me.
    • Him.
    • Honestly did we ever even decide on a title?
  • Question of

    What do you think about making your current relationship an open one?

    • It already is… or at least I’ve been treating it as such.
    • YES.
    • It’s a no from me. I don’t need anything from someone else that I wouldn’t expect from him.
    • I definitely don’t trust him enough for that.
  • Question of

    Was it love at first sight?

    • Maybe a little, but I’ve grown to care for him more deeply.
    • Definitely not, we were best friends before any of this.
    • Yes. He blew me away and I haven’t been grounded since.
    • Absolutely not, he wasn’t really all that appealing.
  • Question of

    What do you think your future with him looks like?

    • Forever.
    • I don’t want to be unrealistic, but we’re in it for the long run.
    • What future?
    • A couple more weeks for sure.
  • Question of

    How fast does he respond to your texts, dms, memes, snaps, etc?

    • Just as fast as all my other friends.
    • As fast as he can.
    • He regularly ignores me.
    • He sometimes leaves me on open for days.
  • Question of

    Do you still get beginning-of-relationship butterflies around your man?

    • Not at all, I don’t really care what he thinks about me.
    • Yeah I feel nervous around him all the time.
    • Half and half. He still surprises and delights me, but I feel comfortable and safe around him.
    • He stresses me out MAJORLY! I always feel like he’s judging me.
  • Question of

    Do you feel like you have a ‘backup guy’ in case your relationship flops?

    • I don’t, but I could absolutely see myself with other people in the far future.
    • Yeah. I have this possibility that I keep on hold.
    • Absolutely not. I’m all eyes on him.
    • No… I have several. I want to stay on good terms with droll-worthy guys, just in case.
  • Question of

    Do you trust him?

    • Yeah. He knows everything about me, and he would never hurt me.
    • I trust him, I just don’t trust other girls around him.
    • You kidding? He isn’t even allowed to LOOK at other girls.
    • I mostly trust him, but I wouldn’t tell him everything.
  • Question of

    Do you still find yourself attracted to him?

    • Of course, his looks charmed me in the first place.
    • Absolutely.
    • Not as much as I used to be.
    • I don’t feel into him much at all.
  • Question of

    How often do you argue?

    • Only jokingly.
    • Sometimes, but we work it out.
    • We’re just really passive.
    • All the time.

Is it time to let go?

How to break up with him? (girls only)