Should you marry your current partner?


“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.”
John Joseph Powell, The Secret of Staying in Love

“I was suffering the easily foreseeable consequences. Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never dared to admit you wanted-an emotional speedball, perhaps, of thunderous love and roiling excitement. Soon you start craving that intense attention, with a hungry obsession of any junkie. When the drug is witheld, you promptly turn sick, crazy, and depleted (not to mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place but now refuses to pony up the good stuff anymore– despite the fact that you know he has it hidden somewhere, goddamn it, because he used to give it to you for free). Next stage finds you skinny and shaking in a corner, certain only that you would sell your soul or rob your neighbors just to have ‘that thing’ even one more time. Meanwhile, the object of your adoration has now become repulsed by you. He looks at you like you’re someone he’s never met before, much less someone he once loved with high passion. The irony is,you can hardly blame him. I mean, check yourself out. You’re a pathetic mess,unrecognizable even to your own eyes. So that’s it. You have now reached infatuation’s final destination– the complete and merciless devaluation of self.” – pg 20-21”
Elizabeth Gilbert Sputnik Sweetheart

“Of course it hurt that we could never love each other in a physical way. We would have been far more happy if we had. But that was like the tides, the change of seasons–something immutable, an immovable destiny we could never alter. No matter how cleverly we might shelter it, our delicate friendship wasn’t going to last forever. We were bound to reach a dead end. That was painfully clear.”
Haruki Murakami, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

“I think you are wrong to want a heart. It makes most people unhappy. If you only knew it, you are in luck not to have a heart.”
L. Frank Baum, The Wise Man’s Fear

“nothing in this world was more difficult than love.”
Gabriel García Márquez The Goddess Test

“Books are a poor substitute for female companionship, but they are easier to find.”
Patrick Rothfuss, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence

“I care,” he said in a trembling voice. “I care so much that I do not know how to tell you without it seeming inconsequential compared to how I feel. Even if I am distant at times and seem as if I do not want to be with you, it is only because this scares me, too.”
Aimee Carter, The Indigo Spell

“Don’t leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.”
Amy Sedaris, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment

“Because I can’t help doing it,” he said with a shrug. “And hey, if I keep loving you, maybe you’ll eventually crack and love me too. Hell, I’m pretty sure you’re already half in love with me.”
Richelle Mead, Rules of Attraction

“All I’m telling you to do is to be smart about it. Know that if this man isn’t looking for a serious relationship, you’re not going to change his mind just because you two are going on dates and being intimate. You could be the most perfect woman on the Lord’s green earth-you’re capable of interesting conversation, you cook a mean breakfast, you hand out backrubs like sandwiches, you’re independent (which means, to him, that you’re not going to be in his pockets)-but if he’s not ready for a serious relationship, he going to treat you like sports fish.”
Steve Harvey, Emma

“Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.”
Shannon L. Alder Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

“We kiss all the time.” I clear my throat, then add, “We just…do it in private.”
Simone Elkeles, I Wrote This For You

“Seldom, very seldom, does complete truth belong to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that something is not a little disguised or a little mistaken.”
Jane Austen, Max

“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.”
Steve Maraboli, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

“You’re just another story I can’t tell anymore.”
pleasefindthis, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

“He could totally be your boyfriend,” [Angel] went on with annoying persistance. “You guys could get married. I could be like a junior bridesmaid. Total could be your flower dog.”
James Patterson, Breaking Bread: Insurgent Black Intellectual Life

“Moving on is easy. It’s staying moved on that’s trickier.”
Katerina Stoykova Klemer The English Patient

“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”
Mandy Hale, Letters to a Young Poet

“A fit, healthy body—that is the best fashion statement”
Jess C Scott Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

“How would your life be different if…You walked away from gossip and verbal defamation? Let today be the day…You speak only the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same.”
Steve Maraboli, Wicked Lovely

“There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it.”
Shannon L. Alder All About Love: New Visions

“We have to recognise that there cannot be relationships unless there is commitment, unless there is loyalty, unless there is love, patience, persistence.”
Cornel West, Warbreaker

“We die containing a richness of lovers and tribes, tastes we have swallowed, bodies we have plunged into and swum up as if rivers of wisdom, characters we have climbed into as if trees, fears we have hidden in as if caves.
Michael Ondaatje, How to Win Friends and Influence People

“only someone who is ready for everything, who doesn’t exclude any experience, even the most incomprehensible, will live the relationship with another person as something alive and will himself sound the depths of his own being.”
Rainer Maria Rilke, Seven Words of Jesus and Mary: Lessons from Cana and Calvary

“Start the Quiz”

  • Question of

    Do you love your partner no matter what?

    • Yes, always
    • Ha, no
    • It depends on the situation
  • Question of

    When you two have an argument, how does it usually turn out?

    • We both talk it out and come to a compromise
    • Sometimes talk it out, sometimes never solve it.
    • We argue about it a week later
  • Question of

    Do you both have the same values in life?

    • Yes.
    • Some things yes, and if we do not they respect me for that
    • Some things yes and if we do not, I have to change always
    • No, not a single thing.
  • Question of

    Do you ever like other people and wish to be with them?

    • Never. I love my partner that much
    • Sometimes, but I would never cheat
    • Sometimes, I have considered cheating
    • Only all the time! We argue way too much
  • Question of

    Do you have any children together or do you want any?

    • We have a child together/ want the same amount of children
    • We do not have a child/not sure if they want one or not
    • My partner wants children, I do not or vice Versa
  • Question of

    Have you discussed marriage before?

    • We are actually engaged and have a few dates chosen
    • We have discussed it, but are not ready financially/emotionally yet
    • We have not discussed anything yet
    • He/she says they are not ready
  • Question of

    Do you live together?

    • Yes, and we get along great
    • Yes, but we barely tolerate each other
    • No, but we stay the night and I miss them when they leave
    • Nope. We do not even spend the night together
  • Question of

    Does their family like you?

    • They all love me but there’s always that one person
    • Most of them do, a few do not
    • All of them hate me
  • Question of

    What’s one thing you cannot stand about your partner?

    • They always concerned about me when I am fine
    • They watch shows that I cannot stand
    • They like to lie to my face when I know the truth
  • Question of

    Lastly, are YOU ready to get married to them?

    • Yes. For sure
    • Yes, but we are not quite financially ready yet
    • Sort of. We have to work on our relationship
    • No. I need to move on
  • Question of

    Who does your significant other call first when they need advice?

    • They should call their mother.
    • They should call their father.
    • They should call their brother.
    • They should call their best friend.
  • Question of

    Do your friends like them?

    • They are so happy that this person is in my life.
    • They get along really well.
    • They put up with my partner.
    • They don’t really care for this person.
  • Question of

    Have you talked about what kind of house you want to buy in the future?

    • Yes, we have.
    • We’ve lightly discussed it.
    • We’ve talked about where we like to live.
    • No, we haven’t.
  • Question of

    Do you have any important secrets you haven’t shared with this person?

    • No, we are very open with our communication and our lives.
    • We’ve discussed feelings that I haven’t known how to express yet.
    • We’ve discussed a few things that haven’t come up before.
    • I’ve kept a lot of my past from this person.
  • Question of

    What kind of decisions have you consulted your partner on?

    • I discuss looking outside of our area for my career.
    • I got their opinion on buying furniture.
    • We’ve discussed whether or not I should keep someone as a friend.
    • We’ve discussed splitting a plate of nachos.
  • Question of

    How was your extended trip with your lover?

    • It was a truly amazing experience, and I loved that they were my perfect travel buddy.
    • It was a lot of fun, and we didn’t get too tired of each other.
    • We’ve been on a few short trips that were great.
    • We haven’t gone on a trip together yet.
  • Question of

    How often do you spend your spare time by yourself?

    • I have time to myself at least every other day.
    • I have time to myself at maybe once a week.
    • Every day I’m hanging out with myself.
    • Most of my spare time is alone.
  • Question of

    When you are traveling on your own, how often do you talk to them?

    • I usually video chat with them every night to tell them about my day.
    • I call or text them almost every day.
    • I text them all day the whole time.
    • I talk to them once or twice while I’m gone.
  • Question of

    If you are feeling lonely, what do you do?

    • I ask my partner if they can spend time with me.
    • I call or visit my romantic partner.
    • I hang out with my friends.
    • I browse dating profiles.
  • Question of

    What is your favorite dinner date with them?

    • We love cooking together.
    • We love trying new takeout places.
    • My favorite date so far has been at this really fancy restaurant.
    • I love going out for wings and fries at our local bar.
  • Question of

    How often do you laugh heartily around them?

    • I laugh at their silliness constantly.
    • I laugh at their silliness almost every day.
    • I laugh at their silliness once a week.
    • I don’t remember the last time I laughed with my partner.
  • Question of

    Do you guys apologize to each other?

    • Yes, we are good at owning up to our mistakes.
    • We apologize to each other only after big fights.
    • Usually, we just get the other person a treat to apologize.
    • What would we have to apologize for?
  • Question of

    What would you do if your partner felt that you didn’t give them enough attention?

    • I’d ask them how they felt I could improve.
    • I’d make an effort to spend more time with them for the next few weeks.
    • I’d give them more of my attention then.
    • I’d tell them they are being clingy.
  • Question of

    How often do you go on dates?

    • We make time for each other everyday.
    • We go out at least once a week.
    • We go out a few times a month.
    • We go out once a month.
  • Question of

    What would you do if your partner got their dream job in a different state?

    • I’d look at ways to achieve my dreams there.
    • I’d figure out how to do a long distance relationship with them.
    • I’d ask them to consider other jobs in our current state.
    • I’d be excited for them, but I’d also break up with them.
  • Question of

    If your date were in an accident, how would you respond?

    • I’d get there immediately to make sure they are okay and help them with phone calls and family.
    • I’d be on the phone for support and ask them what I could do to help.
    • I’d make sure they were okay and let them handle things.
    • I’d help them if they asked for help.
  • Question of

    Do you and your partner do everything together?

    • Definitely not, although I’m always happy to hear about their hobbies.
    • We have a lot of shared hobbies, so we do most things together.
    • We are together all the time.
    • We only do things together occasionally.
  • Question of

    What is the biggest item you have purchased together?

    • We bought a bookshelf together.
    • We got a cat together.
    • We bought antiques together.
    • We bought a giant stuffed animal together.
  • Question of

    How far ahead in your future have you guys discussed?

    • We’ve discussed plans at least ten years into the future?
    • We’ve discussed events up to two years away.
    • We have planned things for six months in the future.
    • We have planned things a month in the future.
  • Question of

    How frequently do you ask your partner if they still like you?

    • Sometimes, when I’m mostly feeling down.
    • I don’t go looking for assurance from anyone.
    • Once in a while, I’ll ask them if they still care about me.
    • I ask for reassurance constantly.

How Secure Is Your Marriage

Is your spouse in love with you now, or the you then?