What kind of medieval character would you be?


“Start the Quiz”

  • Question of

    You are walking down the road when you confront a magical ruby that is guarded by a massive serpent. The serpent is asleep but will wake soon. What is your reaction?

    • Use your stealth and agility to steal the rock without waking the beast.
    • Forget about the ruby. You’re not going to get your head bitten off for a shiny rock!
    • Wake the beast, challenge it to a battle, and upon defeating it, claim the said ruby as your prize.
    • Raise your wand and magic the ruby back to you, careful not to wake the beast.
  • Question of

    Somehow, you get the ruby and it turns out to be a prison holding a fairy inside. The fairy beseeches you to free her. What do you do?

    • Smash the ruby and release the fairy.
    • Free her with a spell but quickly cast a jinx on her that will seal her back in if she doesn’t grant you a wish.
    • Force the fairy to help you steal things and threaten to never release her if she doesn’t comply.
    • Throw the ruby away and run as fast as you can in the opposite direction.
  • Question of

    An unguarded gold necklace is onboard a pirate ship. The necklace is owned by a poor old woman who needs the necklace to feed her family. What do you do?

    • Quickly summon chains to bind the pirates while you saunter in and return the necklace to the woman,
    • Run and hide.
    • Sneak past the pirates and steal the necklace for yourself. You need the cash!
    • Single-handedly defeat the pirates and take the necklace back to the old woman.
  • Question of

    You are captured by marauding demons who say that you must kidnap the daughter of a village elder in order to stay alive. How do you react?

    • Run away as usual.
    • Create the illusion that you have kidnapped the girl and give the illusion to the marauders. After they leave, cancel the illusion spell and have a good laugh.
    • Slay the demons and save the village elder’s daughter.
    • Kidnap the girl and trade off with the marauders for gold and silver.
  • Question of

    A vampire lurks in the house of your cousin but he is unaware. He is also unaware that he will be killed at the full moon tomorrow. What do you do?

    • Conjure an army of specters to destroy the vampire.
    • Tear the vampire to shreds with your bare hands.
    • Sell your cousin’s soul to the vampire for a fortune in diamonds and emeralds.
    • What do you care? He’s only a second cousin anyway. You’ll stay with your aunt.
  • Question of

    You are captured by the emperor who wants you to participate in a gladiator face-off against a massive monster of a man named KillerSmasherGrimReaper. You have a choice of weapons. Which one do you choose and why?

    • No weapon. The emperor has to let you go with a hefty ransom after you threaten to show his wife the other woman’s toga that was in the royal bedchambers.
    • A sword, so you can face the long-named gladiator on an equal playing field.
    • A wand, since you can easily obliterate the entire coliseum with one spell.
    • An invisibility cloak, so you can sneak away under the veil of invisibility.
  • Question of

    You get one wish from the fairy from the ruby a few questions ago. What is it and why?

    • Admittance to the greatest wizard institute in the world!
    • A safe world with no fairies, gladiators, vampires, second-cousins, et cetera.
    • A princess bride and a rock to sharpen your sword.
    • Three more wishes and a sack of rubies with fairies trapped inside.
  • Question of

    A man offers you a quest. He will pay you millions of dollars worth of jewels if you accept. What is your reaction?

    • Run away AGAIN!
    • Take the quest but refuse the money. The adventure is payment enough!
    • Say yes, take the money, and vanish, never to be seen again except in Hawaii.
    • Say yes and make a doppelganger of yourself. The doppelganger will go do the quest while you spend the money!
  • Question of

    By some freak of nature, everyone you fear the most has arrived in a locked room with you in it. What do you do?

    • Confront them and if necessary, kill them.
    • Casually conjure up some demon guards to escort you away.
    • Con them with a pyramid scheme and end up with more money than you can possibly carry while they toil away in a cold work camp in Siberia. Don’t mess with the unnamed medieval character!
    • Faint immediately.
  • Question of

    Finally, what’s your favorite thing about the Dark Ages?

    • The abundance of hiding places and the legroom for quick running away!
    • Lots and lots of things to slay and people to save!
    • The mystery and the intrigue of how medieval people survived.
    • The amount of suckers just waiting to fork over their cash to you!

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